A Solitary Place That Works

A solitary place is defined as a place where one can be alone, without any companions and unattended. Being an introvert who thrives in an environment of loneliness and unaccompanied, I find a strong compulsion for me to spend some time in that quiet place. For me, it is a place where I can gather my thoughts to process certain issues, lessons, philosophies and even problems. 

Working in an office full with colleagues, I hardly have time to really think of certain work-related issues apart from settling the issues with the known, safe and standard solution. Not that there's anything wrong with that, but I believe sometimes we could all use a little creativity in our problem-solving skills to try new approach and who knows, we might stumble upon better and more efficient ways of solving things. 

A solitary place could also help me to reflect and ponder upon my next move, be it in career path, relationships, life goals, personal development etc. With our life moving at such a fast pace, we hardly have time to stop and check our compass to really determine the direction we're heading to. This is dangerous as we might reach the destination which we didn't intend to go to in the first place.  

For me to engage in such a deep thinking, I need my solitary place. A place with no interruptions from colleagues, phone calls, emails and smartphones. A place where nobody recognizes me to engage me in a conversation. A place where there's no noise. A place where nothing distract me.

So, I've come out with a list of criteria of a solitary place that works for me.

• A place/spot which is quiet, free from the talking or conversations of people. It doesn't have to be a place with no human at all although that might work too but it does have to be quiet. Soft music is acceptable too as long as it's not too loud.

• It has to be a place where none of my friends/acquaintances might go. Else, we might greet one another and sit for a chat. Or even worst, being in a place with an acquaintance whom I barely know sitting not far from me. I might wave my hands as a sign of greeting or say hi but after that, I don't know how to proceed with the encounter which results in an awkward situation. I could try to talk to them though we might have nothing in common to talk about. Or I could continue with whatever I'm doing but I can't totally ignore them which puts me in a difficult and awkward situation. Either way, that effectively kills off my visit to the solitary place. 

• A place which is comfortable for me. Comfortable in terms of the surrounding temperature with comfortable chairs and/or tables. I've tried sitting on a bench facing a river with the wind gently blows through the surrounding. It seems like a perfect spot for me. But after a few minutes, I started to get uncomfortable as the heat from the sun starts to make me sweat. Needless to say, I haven't been there since.

• If that place happens to be cafes or coffee shops, it would be a bonus if it serves really great coffee. As a coffee lover, I enjoy sipping the aroma-rich drinks while sorting my mind through complicated issues. But generally, cafes or coffee shops are not a good place to engage in deep thinking activities. There might be a lot of customers moving in and out of the shops while conversing with one another which distract me.

Based on the above criteria, I've managed to find a few solitary place that's perfect for me. Hopefully the above rules can be a guidance for you to find your own solitary place. 

Simple Ways To Change Between UPPERCASE & lowercase

Ever typed a sentence or even a whole paragraph while accidentally left your caps lock on? 

Or even typed a few pages of reports using lowercase and suddenly your boss wants it all to be in uppercase?

In this post, I'm gonna share how I change sentences or even paragraphs from uppercase to lowercase or whatever case you want in a much simpler way. There are plenty of resources on the internet on how to do so, but some involve formula (especially when using Excel) which I find troublesome. 

I'll be addressing those solutions for the 3 most widely used program for typing which is Microsoft Office Words, PowerPoint & Excel.

A. Microsoft Words

There are 2 ways to solve this problem when using MS Words.

1) Without Using Keyboard

• Click on the icon shown and select the desired case 

OR

2) Using Keyboard

• Highlight the words
• Press Shift+F3

B. Microsoft PowerPoint

It is exactly the same with using Microsoft Words.

1) Without Using Keyboard

• Click on the icon shown and select the desired case

OR

2) Using Keyboard

• Highlight the words
• Press Shift+F3

C. Microsoft Excel

Out of the 3, this is the tricky one. But I promise, no formula involve.

1) When connected to the internet

• Go to http://convertcase.net/
• Paste you highlighted words there and click the desired case adjustment there.
• Paste it back onto the Excel sheet

OR

2) Not connected to the internet

• Highlight your words
• Paste it onto MS Words / PowerPoint
• Change to your desired case using the above method
• Paste it back onto MS Excel

There you have it. The easiest way for me (so far) to change between uppercase & lowercase with no formula whatsoever.

Hope it is useful.

What You Need To Know About Love Languages

I was introduced to a book about relationships a few years back. Now, as an avid learner in the field of self-help, I must admit I've never read any book about relationships before. So rather reluctantly I read through the whole book and it opened up my eyes! 

I would dare say if there is only one book about relationships that you're going to read this year, it should be this - "The 5 Love Languages" by Dr Gary Chapman.

What Is It About?

In this book, Dr Chapman who's a counsellor noticed that everyone has a love language, which is the primary way for them to express and perceive love. Some people might show their love in a different way than us. 

Why is this important? Because if we fail to learn their love language and dismiss whatever love gestures that they do for us, we'll hurt them very badly as they feel that their love has been rejected. He goes on to say that if we are able to speak to our spouse/partner in their native love language, they'll feel loved and vice versa. Thus, came the concept of the 5 love languages.

What Are The 5 Love Languages?

1) Words of Affirmation

This language involves the use of words such as giving encouragement, compliment and appreciations to demonstrate love. Simple kind compliments such as "You look great in that suit" or "I love your cooking" will make their day and make them feel loved. Mind you, the harsh words that we use towards those whose love language is words of affirmation can be devastating. 

2) Quality Time

Those who speak this language will feel loved when we spend time together with them in a quality companionship. Spending time together means more than physically near to one another. It is about paying our undivided attention to our spouse, engaging in quality heart-to-heart talks as well as doing quality activities together. Having a candlelight dinner in a luxurious restaurant while playing your smartphones is NOT a quality time activity

3) Gifts

Some people like to give and receive gifts. If any of your friends or even your spouse are one of them, their love language could be gifts. The gifts need not be expensive. Thoughtful gifts be it free or expensive could make them feel secure and loved. Do take note that when these people give you gifts, accept it with appreciation and gratitude. It's their way of showing love. Do NOT brush it off by saying "Oh, you don't have to give me any gift" or "I've a lot of those already so please keep it". 

4) Physical Touch

This goes beyond just sex. A simple hug or hand-holding when conveys love to those who speak this language. A gentle body-to-body brush when you pass by your spouse,  playing footsie under the table and giving them a massage speaks volume here. Physical abuse is a big NO-NO to them. 

5) Act of Service

I was a bit shocked when I first found out about this love language. There are people out there who feel love when they are being served. I thought they are being demanding, but it turns out this is how they communicate love. This includes doing the laundry, cleaning the house, taking out the garbage and whatever that feels like work or chore for the rest of us who don't speak this language. However, it's important to know that these are how they communicate love so do try to learn and understand. 

What Is Your Love Language?

How about yourself? Can you identify with any of the 5 love languages stated above? Do try to learn and understand the love language of one another to build a healthy and happy relationship together. Those couples who are happy are those who has their love tank being filled according to their respective love language.

To find out what is your love language, take the assessment here.

p/s: Kids have love language too. So try to NOT dismiss them when they give you a handmade card or drawing which looks like nothing. Be careful also with the words we use and for those children who speak the love language of physical touch, do not physically abuse them. The damage that has been done in their early childhood (because of our ignorance) might affect them in future.

You can get the book below.

A Bittersweet Moment Of Realization That Hit Me

Having lived this world for about 30 years, I've had plenty of moment of realizations that hit me in moments that I couldn't imagine. For this blog, I'm gonna share one of those moments as I wrote it down almost immediately after it struck me (I've been keeping a journal since the end of last year specifically for this purpose)  

How It Happen

It was Sunday and I was scheduled to be on duty in Sunday school in my church. As part of the activity for the children, I gave them sweets (plenty of them inclusive of chocolates as well) to demonstrate some lessons about disappointments and love. 

Later on during the sessions, I jokingly asked one of the kids for a small sweet as I do not have any (I don't want it anyway). But who would have thought that I would be the one to be disappointed after teaching them about that particular lesson. I was shocked that he isn't willing to give me EVEN ONE though he had like 5-6 sweets in his hand!

Have the kids forgotten that I am the one who gave them sweets in the first place? Didn't they know that I was the one who actually purchased those sweets and without me doing that, they wouldn't be enjoying any of those mouth-watering candies now? Without my part, they would have nothing at all! 

Out of those dozens of sweets & snacks that I bought, I only asked for one and this is how they respond to my request? A big NO?

The Moment of Realization That Struck Me

Then the big moment of realization hit me! Why am I upset with the way they treated me? I was reminded of all the wonderful gifts that God gave us. Look at our surrounding. The birds, the trees, the bright blue sky, the Heaven & the Earth. He created them all. 

But are we willing to give some of it back to Him? Are we willing to give one-tenth of our income as a tithe to Him? Are we willing to spend a little bit of our time to pray to Him each day? Are we willing to serve Him with whatever skills that He gave us? 

Or are we like the children who were unwilling to give even a little back to Him who gave us abundantly in the first place?